It’s Hard To Fix A Wrinkled Heart

heart

It’s Hard To Fix A Wrinkled Heart

My little brother’s hands grip his favorite red Tupperware cup at every meal.  Like clockwork, he accidentally knocks his cup over again.  A white puddle spills across the table soaking our napkins.

My brother’s tears fail to soften my dark heart.  Instead I angrily slap down paper towels and growl, “Ugh! You spill your drink every single night!  I HATE cleaning up after you all the time!”

Poisonous words spew out of my mouth as smoothly as the milk flows from the overturned cup. One tiny bump causes me to instantaneously respond with mean words.  Although I know my brother’s wrinkled heart cannot be easily mended, I ignore that thought.

Controlling my words seems an impossible task.  Sarcastic quips, put downs, and bad words pop out of my mouth faster than the speed of light.  Damaging words don’t even register in my brain until after the dart has met its target.

******

Ten years later my weak arms shake as the nurse carefully positions my newborn son on a pillow against my chest.  A thin white bear blanket snugly holds a red face.  My husband leans forward and lifts up a corner of the blue beanie hat. “Look at all that long dark hair, he will take after you.”

A fist of ice squeezes my heart.  A thick knot in my throat freezes my usual flippant response.  I’m powerless to prevent him from repeating all “my mistakes.” Sorrow for hurtful words spoken to my brothers rises from a hidden corner.

A tremendous burden to protect and unconditionally love my son crushes the breath from me.  A tear runs down my cheek as the lie, “You’ll NEVER be the patient or loving mother he deserves” grows louder in my thoughts.

Closing my eyes I pray, “God, please give me a loving heart.  Keep my words from hurting him.”  As easily as Jesus stilled the wind and the waves, He calms my fears after my silent prayer.  I believe He will help me control my quick temper.  If only I’ll seek him.

If you commit to a daily walk with God, He will completely amaze you.  Expect Him to exchange your bad thoughts and venomous words for kind words.  Jesus’ love will soften your heart.

When people push your buttons and you feel like exploding, turn to God in prayer.  Although we feel like crumbling, Jesus will hold you steady.  He knows, He sees, and He cares.  Even if your rambunctious children smash their bedroom window with a golf club, take a deep breath and tell him you need His love.  As you sweep up the large glass shards from the carpet, He will send you a calming peace.

Looking back I laugh at my brother’s overturned cup, because my boys constantly spill the entire gallon jug of juice every day. Never mind all the Playtex Sippy cups that fill the refrigerator doors, they desire to pour their cups themselves.

During every emotional melt down I rely on the Holy Spirit to override my first reaction. Only this time, I listen and obey.  At first it may feel like you are biting your tongue to keep unkind words from pouring out, but before long those unwanted thoughts disappear.

With the Holy Spirit residing inside you, you will be able to love other people when they are acting unlovable.  Forgive them when their careless words stab your heart.  God will exchange your anger for His love.

If sarcastic quips, bad words, or put downs are wrinkling hearts around you, look up!  Immediately seek Jesus in prayer and ask him to change your words.  He will amaze you when He completely takes away your anger and replaces it with His love.

If you are like me and have wrinkled your share of hearts, don’t worry….Jesus can heal every wrinkled heart.  If only you will turn to him, ask, and believe He can.

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